


A Rumour is a Rumour, Except When It's Truth

by RogueWolf



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky and the Commandos are such trolls, Bucky likes to help, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Prompt Fic, The Howling Commandos like to cause trouble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:24:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueWolf/pseuds/RogueWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Howling Commandos are known for getting into trouble on a daily basis. So it's no surprise that the SSR put together a list of things the Howling Commandos weren't allowed to do. It should also come as no surprise that the Commandos love breaking rules, and being told not to gossip about the sex life of one Captain Steve Rogers just about guaranteed that they would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Rumour is a Rumour, Except When It's Truth

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3278192) by [Odsbodkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odsbodkins/pseuds/Odsbodkins). 



> I haven’t watched AoS or Agent Carter yet, so I hope I did justice to the Howling Commandos.
> 
> Huge shoutout to Silvanuyx for beta'ing this fic for me. Thanks hon!

**I.**

 

“He’s unstoppable,” Dum Dum said in a stage whisper. His audience stared up at him, wide eyed. “The other night, I had to use the necessary and it was probably a few hours past midnight. When I passed his tent, it was still lit up and there were noises that mmmmph...” Dum Dum trailed off and nodded sagely. The young women in the crowd blushed, the mothers glared at Dum Dum and clapped hands over their little ones’ ears.

“The next day was a free day,” Dernier picked up the story. “We didn’t see the Captain for almost the whole day. Barnes either,” he said, looking past the audience at Bucky slouching in his chair. Everyone else turned to look, and Bucky smirked and held up a hand and flashed four fingers twice.

There were low gasps and people stared at Bucky in both shock and disbelief.

“I didn’t sleep at all,” somebody else said. Everyone spun around to gape at Captain America. His cheeks were dark red, the tips of his ears were pink, and everybody watched, absolutely interested, as his neck started to flush red as well.

“Barnes wouldn’t stop telling me about his newest conquest.”

“S” Bucky hissed.

“Sorry,” Steve replied, “conquest _s_.” He shifted and then continued. “I was stuck listening for hours.”

Bucky winked exaggeratedly. “It was the best night of his life.”

The room burst into laughter. Bucky levered himself up and sauntered over to Steve. “Come on, Captain, I’ve got some more stories to tell you.” He dragged Steve out of the bar, the room in full uproar behind them.

 

**II.**

 

“This has got to stop,” Colonel Phillips glared at the six men in front of him. They blinked back at him innocently. “I’ve received message after message from senators asking what on God’s green earth we’re doing over here. ‘Captain America fights Nazis by having numerous affairs.’ ‘Captain America and the Howling Commandos disappear for two weeks. Rescue mission or illicit orgies?’

Gabe choked out a cough and Phillips pinned him with a look. “I am running an army, not babysitting a gaggle of teenagers. You are soldiers. I expect you to act like it.”

He gave them one last glare. “Dismissed. If I hear anything else before the week’s up I’m putting you on latrine duty. Now get out.”

The men saluted and trooped out. Phillips sighed and slumped into his field chair, letting his head fall into his hands.

“Hey, Gabe, did you hear that Rogers doesn’t have to wait like everyone else. He can keep going and going and going.”

Phillips heard the others laugh.

“This was not what I signed up for,” he moaned.

 

**III.**

 

For the record, Tony wanted it to be known that he was **not** a Captain America fanboy. Sure, there were rooms upon rooms of Captain America memorabilia collecting dust in one of his houses, but that didn’t mean they belong to him. Well, they did, but they had originally belonged to his dad, who Tony swore could out-fanboy Coulson.

But yeah. All those boxes of journals and uniforms and weapons? So not his thing. Ok, so maybe the weapons, but nothing else.

The problem was that he was bored, he was currently sitting in one of the worst storms seen in over two decades, the power was out, and the back-up generator wasn’t kicking in. To make matters worse, this was the family mansion. Tony came back to visit it so rarely that he hadn’t had a chance to install any of the arc reactor tech to run the mansion.

What it all came down to was that his only light source was a box of candles, he was bored, and there was a box of journals sitting in front of him.

Tony closed his eyes, peeked, and then grabbed a random journal out the box. The cover was a pale gray from dust, and as he started to wipe it off he could see “PC” stamped in front in stylized, curling letters.

“PC,” Tony muttered, still cleaning the journal. “PC...PC...Peggy!”

Tony flopped onto one of the many sofas in the lounge room, the journal high above his face as he started flipping through it. Peggy’s handwriting was clear and bold, easy to read. It was, Tony mused, very much like the woman herself.

Most of the pages were simply reports of what had happened that day. Occasionally, Peggy had listed ways to improve morale, training, the food in the mess hall. _‘SPICES’_ was underlined several times, followed by descriptions of some of the most unsavory food Tony had ever heard of.

It was, in all honesty, one of the most boring things Tony had ever bothered to read. He was starting to fall asleep when he flipped the page and hit jackpot.

_‘I had a talk with Steve today.He won’t tell his men to stop this ridiculous habit of spreading rumours. He keeps insisting that he can handle it, better him than some unsuspecting person. He doesn’t seem to understand that this affects_ _everyone_ _! Not just him. Colonel Phillips told me today that he’s received no less than nine complaints, just this week alone. I have also been sent inquiries from my direct supervisor, demanding to know what is going on._

_I don’t know if Steve allows this because it lets his men enjoy some form of entertainment. God knows they have seen and done things that most normal people would never wish to do. But I can’t help but think that that’s not it. I believe it all lies with Sgt. Barnes. If only he would stop encouraging the other Commandos, then I believe that Steve would be willing to put a stop to their behavior._

_Unfortunately, Steve never been able to tell_ _Bucky_ _Sgt. Barnes “No.”’_

Tony raised his eyebrows, intrigued. He’d never heard any rumours about Steve Rogers or Captain America that seemed as unsavory as what Peggy was implying. “Jarvis, wake up,” he said, poking at his phone. “I’ve got a project for you.”

 

**IV.**

 

“You guys have **got** to see this.”

Clint, Natasha, Bruce, and Darcy looked up in surprise as Tony shot into the rec room and hopped onto the couch. “Hey!” Darcy grumped, wiping tea off her sleeve.

Tony ignored her. “Jarvis, start the video again, back back it up to when Dum Dum started speaking.”

“What’s going on, Tony?” Bruce asked

Tony shushed him impatiently and stared at the TV as it flickered on. The others shrugged and turned to watch as well.

_“Would you tell us more about your relationship with the Captain Rogers?”_

_On the screen, five men shifted, raised eyebrows, grinned. They looked nothing more than like a band of mischievous five year-olds, instead of sixty and seventy year old men._

_“I suppose it depends on which Captain you’re talking about.”_

_The interviewer leaned forward eagerly. “Are you saying that there was more than one Captain Rogers?”_

_“Pshaw,” Dum Dum flapped a hand at him dismissively. “There was only one Steve Rogers. But there’s Steve Rogers, who was also Captain America, and then there was just plain ‘ol Steve Rogers.”_

_“I suppose I’m talking about ‘plain ‘ol Steve Rogers,’” the interviewer laughed. “If you could call a super soldier who fought Hitler and the Nazis plain.”_

_One of the men coughed out a burst of laughter. The camera zoomed in on his face, a nametag appearing at the bottom of the screen._

_“Most people didn’t think he_ **_was_ ** _plain,” Gabe said. “Rogers was kind of hard to ignore, what with being enhanced and all. And it’s not like most people wanted to.” He winked at the interviewer. “He was just as human as the rest of us, the serum only brought that out more.”_

_“Brought it out a lot,” one of the others mumbled, and they all burst into laughter._

_Gabe shrugged, but he was smiling. “It was different than what he was used to. Can’t really blame him for wanting to go for a test run or two.”_

_“Or a hundred,”  Dernier smirked._

_“Are you saying that Steve Rogers -Captain America- was involved in numerous...in…” The interviewer trailed off, looking embarrassed._

_“Oh, sure,” Dum Dum said. He looked soberly at the camera. “He could go for days. Stop for a moment to grab a bite to eat -he had to eat a lot to-”_

_“To keep it up,” Falsworth choked out on a giggle._

_“And you can do a lot when you don’t need to sleep as much as a normal man,” Dum Dum finished, ignoring the other’s stifled laughter._

_“I think Bucky was the only one who was able to keep up with him,” Dernier said thoughtfully. “I remember one time, he walked funny for a couple of days.”_

_“Not as bad as the Captain, though,” Morita retorted. “You know Barnes liked to give as good as he took.”_

_The interviewer looked almost ready to faint. “I...well...this is definitely something we’ve never heard before.” He smiled weakly into the camera. “When we return, more from the Howling Commandos on what is was like, working with the Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes, and fighting Hydra, the rogue Nazi science division.”_

The screen froze on the interviewer and then slowly faded to black.

“No way,” Clint breathed into the silence. “No fucking way.”

“Where did you find this?” Darcy asked Tony.

“My dad had this Captain America stash. I’ve been going through it when I found that gem.”

“Do you think Steve knows about it?” Bruce wide-eyed, the faintest flush on his cheeks. “Should we tell him?”

“Tell me what?”

Everyone jumped and turned to the door to look at Steve guiltily, except for Natasha, who leaned against her pillow and gave him a slow, knowing smirk.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were a sex machine?!”

Steve blinked at Darcy, who had dropped her tea mug and had clapped her hands over her mouth.

“I’m a what?” Steve asked. He sounded calm, but the tips of his ears were turning pink.

“Tony found an interview with the Howling Commandos,” Bruce explained apologetically.

“Oh,” Steve said. His cheeks were starting to turn bright red.

“Is it true?” Tony asked eagerly. The others glared at him and made soft little disapproving noises. “What?” he frowned back at him. “It’s not like you guys weren’t thinking it.”

“The difference is that we’re not rude enough to ask,” Natasha murmured.

“You’re just jealous that I beat you all to it,” Tony retorted. He turned back to Steve. “So, is it true?”

“Um,” Steve rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I’m not quite certain what they said, but the Commandos I knew were anything but liars.”

Nobody said anything, too busy processing what Steve had mostly admitted to. Darcy shook her head in wonder and gave Steve a slow clap.

 

**V.**

 

“Oh man, you should have seen Steve, he was like a force of nature.” Bucky shook his head mournfully. “He’d go through towns in a flash,” he told Clint with a grin. “Too much energy for one person to handle.

It’d been a year since Steve had first met the Winter Soldier. Two more months after that before they found out it was Bucky, and then six more months before Bucky was Bucky again and willing to move into the Avengers Tower. Since then, the team had been helping Bucky adjust to the marvel that was the 21st century, while pumping him for information on Steve as subtly-or unsubtly- as they could.

“You can’t be talking about **our** Steve,” Clint protested. “He still blushes whenever Tony mentions his latest night out on the town.”

Bucky laughed. “That’s because he’s still captain mode. He thinks he has this image to uphold. It’s all bullshit, it’s not like he needs to be on the front of reels anymore. Pretty sure America doesn’t need to sell any more war bonds.”

“Bucky,” Steve grumbled from his spot by the door.

Bucky looked up at him innocently. “Yes, Stevie?”

Steve rolled his eyes, clearly not believing Bucky’s act. “Coulson’s looking for you, he’s got a mission for us.”

“Fine,” Bucky sighed. He pushed himself up from his chair, but at the last minuted leaned down to whisper into Clint’s ear, “Force of nature, hurricane waves.” He winked at him and walked over to Steve.

Steve and Bucky left to the sound of Clint choking on his soda in surprise.

 

**VI.**

 

“You are incorrigible,” Steve murmured against Bucky’s skin. They were curled up in a rickety old bed in the middle of nowhere, waiting for their pickup. “I thought you were bad when the Commandos were around, now you’re even worse.”

Bucky snuggled closer, sliding an arm across Steve’s stomach. “I’ve got seventy years to make up,” he mumbled sleepily. “If I don’t start now, I’ll never catch up.”

Steve snorted softly. “I think you caught up a long time ago.” He felt Bucky smile before he rolled himself over to settle on top of Steve.

“Probably,” he admitted, “but it’s not like you mind.” He traced Steve’s jaw, the bones of his face. “You never did mind.”

Steve pushed his head up to nip at Bucky’s finger. “Hard to mind when it’s all true,” he said. “He leaned up even further until their foreheads were touching. “Except for one thing,” he placed a gentle kiss on Bucky’s nose. “Never had any conquest but you.”

Bucky smiled at him and ducked his head to kiss Steve properly. “I know.” He kissed him again. “You were always mine too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> This was inspired by a list of things the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do, which include:  
> \- Not allowed to spread rumours of the effects of super-soldier serum on sexual performance.  
> \- Especially those rumours endorsed by Sgt Barnes.
> 
> I read the list and my mind went wild.
> 
> For anyone just joining us, I created a tumblr blog, so feel free to drop me a note there, if that's more comfortable for you. My ask box is always open. Otherwise, comments are always love.
> 
> You can find me at roguewolfprints.tumblr.com


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